|
sex 2/3/2008
sex is like oxygen its only important if your not getting
any
0 Comments, 75 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
|
|
Pet peeves 1/22/2008
What is the one thing that your partner does that irritates
you the most? Mine is commenting on my driving!
3 Comments, 104 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
|
Married for 44 years ! 12/18/2007
After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look
at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap
car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white
TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old
gal. Now I have a $500, 000 house, $45, 000 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping
with a 65-year-old woman. It ...
11 Comments, 404 Views,
64 Votes
,5.26 Score
|
|
Double date hell 11/28/2007
Years ago I had a double date with a friend of mine, Joe, who
wanted to date a friend of a girl I had dated a couple of times.
I asked her if she would set up a date for us, she agreed thinking
it would be fun. I agreed to drive, picking up my buddy and
then the two girls. Since the other two barely knew each
other we talked for a few minutes before heading off to a
bar for a beer and a bite ...
3 Comments, 178 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
|
|
F--k 11/8/2007
I was wrong Fuck. Well give me a minute, Fuck. Yea it wont
happen again, Fuck. want to talk about it, Fuck. I just want
a set of ears, Fuck. I didn't want your sympathy. All
I wanted was a friend Fuck. Ill dream of a new tomorrow and
you'll still be in fuck-in head why? Because I LOVE
YOU P.S Many more fucks to go....
2 Comments, 54 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part I 11/6/2007
This is a true story!
In July of 1984 and I was shacked up with a beautiful redheaded
ex-stripper and ex-car thief from Culpepper, Virginia
by the name of Julie in the small town of West, Tennessee
which was my hometown. Julie was 5ft. 2 inches tall with
medium length wavy dark red hair and a natural bust size
of 36 D that was way to big for her frame and she no doubt turned
heads ...
4 Comments, 145 Views,
32 Votes
,1.55 Score
|
|
Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part II 11/6/2007
Anyways I got all cleaned up to go to this card game and
Julie is raising hell about me going out that early in the
day because she has a beauty appointment at 2:00 pm that
afternoon at a beauty shop that was 600 ft. away from my trailer
on the same side of the highway as the trailer park we lived
in was but this started an argument because of us only having
one car that day. My 76 Cougar was ...
5 Comments, 119 Views,
31 Votes
,1.71 Score
|
|
Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part III 11/6/2007
There were two fights over the pool tournament and another
fight I suppose just for the damn hell of it that afternoon
and we nearly had a fight over the poker game at one point
with different people getting in and out of the game arguing
as the juke box kept playing that crazy song among some other
crazy as hell ones to boot by what looked like the Texas Chain
Saw Massacre crew.
To ...
4 Comments, 111 Views,
32 Votes
,1.36 Score
|
|
Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part IV 11/6/2007
Part IV
The poker game was still going on but it was pitiful because
they were all so messed up or I was and it was hard to understand
what anyone was saying. The owner of the beer joint was gonna
let them continue to play as soon as he got all of the other
customers out of the place because he was gonna play too.
I stood around and talked to a couple of different people
a few minutes ...
12 Comments, 134 Views,
33 Votes
,3.42 Score
|
|
THE "WHY'S" OF MEN... 11/2/2007
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY? (they don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butts and they vapor
lock) You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) 5. ...
6 Comments, 152 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
|
|
Why me? 10/1/2007
Why do i always get into fucked up relationships
5 Comments, 88 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
All to be young again !!!! 9/30/2007
Two 90 year olds had been dating for a whie, when the man told
the woman, "well tonight we will have sex" And
so they did As they lying in bed afterward the man thinks to himself
"My god if I knew she was a virgin I would have been more
gentle with her " And the woman was thinking to her
self my god if I knew the old geezer could actually get it
up, I would have taken off my pantie hoses off
2 Comments, 167 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
|
|
smelly !!!! 9/30/2007
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful
woman. after a few minutes he turns to her and says "
can I smell your pussy? " The woman looks at him in disgust
and says, " Certainly not! " "Hmmm"
he replies. It must be your feet then.
4 Comments, 244 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
|
|
dead beaver 9/29/2007
a guy was at the bar showing all his buddys that he could tell
them what animal they had and how they killed it blind folded
..after all night of drinking he walked home. The next day
he woke up and found out he had a black eye ..he asked his wife
what happen she said you bastard you came home put you finger
in my pussy and said beaver.. killed with an axe
2 Comments, 162 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
|
|
My Fifth Grade School Teacher 9/27/2007
I remember the prettiest girl in the class, Carol absent
mindedly writing in ink on Miss Beyers new leather elk hide
jacket and poor Emma Jane Pree getting the blame for it.
Shame shame shame Carol. A secret all these years and it
finally comes out fifty years later by an eye witness. First
time I told this too and more.............First time I
heard about saddle soap and Judith Beyers openly ...
1 Comments, 190 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
My Fifth Grade School Teacher 9/27/2007
I remember the prettiest girl in the class, Carol absent
mindedly witing in ink on Miss Beyers new leather elk hide
jacket and poor Emma Jane Pree getting the blame for it.
Shame shame shame Carol. A secret all these years and it
finally comes out fifty years later by an eye witness. First
time I told this too and more.............First time I
heard about saddle soap and Judith Beyers openly ...
2 Comments, 47 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
|
older married couple 9/21/2007
An older married couple were always bickering. Their current argument got more and more personal with
each insult. The husband finally annnounced he had had enough and was
going to dump her for a 20 year old.
"Go ahead, mister. I'll do the same and make out
a helluva lot better than you will."
"Really, " retorts the husband. "Why
do you think so?"
"Simple, " she said. ...
3 Comments, 166 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
|
|
" In Laws " 9/19/2007
Me and my second wife were driving down a country road one
day not saying a word after an earlier ding buster of a battle
we'd had and neither of us wanted to to give it up.
As we passed a barnyard of mules and pigs my wife sarcastically
asked me, "Relatives of yours are they?"
"That's right Miss America! They're my in-laws." 
15 Comments, 323 Views,
47 Votes
,3.58 Score
|
|
A Christmas Divorce 9/15/2007
A man in Scottsdale calls his in New York on December
23rd and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to
tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five
years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, "
the father says. "We're sick of each other, and
I'm sick of talking about this, so you ...
2 Comments, 149 Views,
10 Votes
,5.18 Score
|
|
Divorced Barbie 9/15/2007
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers
that it's his 's birthday. He pulls over
to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much
is the Barbie on the display window?" The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have: Work out Barbie for $19.95 Shopping Barbie for $19.95 Beach Barbie for $19.95 Disco Barbie for $19.95 Divorced Barbie for $265.95
...
3 Comments, 133 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
|
|
Dear Abbey 8/25/2007
Dear Abby,
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from
the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything.
What's worse is that everyone knows that he cheats
on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six
years ago; he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he
does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bullshit
with his buddies while I have to ...
15 Comments, 386 Views,
56 Votes
,3.10 Score
|
|
" Sweet Thang" 8/24/2007
A young girl of 13 was hearing a lot of new words pertaining
to sex at school that she didn't understand at all.
She decided to ask her divorced, single beautiful 30 year
old blonde headed mom about it bluntly.
The told her mom the at school were saying
things about going down on one another and that she didn't
understand it at all. She asked her mom, "Will you
tell me what they mean?" ...
8 Comments, 416 Views,
53 Votes
,2.71 Score
|
|
The Post(Mail)man retires ! 7/27/2007
The local postman is retiring after many years of loyal
service to the neighbourhood and is calling on his "
customers" to say goodbye, he knocks at the door
and the Lady of the House opens the door she says she is expecting
him and wants to thank him for many years loyal service and
that she has a large cooked breakfast waiting for him, he
eats the tasty meal and just before he finishes she ...
5 Comments, 308 Views,
19 Votes
,4.71 Score
|
|
Family Vibrator 7/15/2007
The Family Vibrator
A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises
in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40
year old playing with her vibrator. "What
are you doing?", asked the mom. "Mom, I am 40
years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married
so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked
out of the room, shaking her head. ...
10 Comments, 484 Views,
34 Votes
,6.83 Score
|
|
Sex of Ages 7/10/2007
A note to the elderly. Sex is GOOD for You, Good for you
, if you can find someone your age to have it with.
A note to the young, it really is love, the first of many.
We never learned from being teens, it's real love,
and it does break-up, so I say watch the married thing.
A note to the mid aged, just have lotsa fun.
A note to the semi-senior aged, do what you can ...
1 Comments, 83 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
Some Sex Oddities 7/7/2007
So can't afford one of those fancy chairs you hang
on the ceiling and she sits above you and you stick your dick
through the hole and into her while she spins. So, you decide
to improvise. That old wicker basket chair will do. So u
cut the hole, hang it up and she gets in, you get in her and
she starts to spin, well, I did say "wicker".
It cuts the hell out of your dick, the commotion breaks ...
3 Comments, 126 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
|
|
He suffers from premature ejaculation! 7/7/2007
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation.
This was affecting marital relations with his wife so he
decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could
he do to cure his problem.
In response the doctor said, "When you feel the urge
to ejaculate, try star-tling yourself".
One the way home the man went to a sports store and bought
himself a starter pistol. All ...
10 Comments, 675 Views,
41 Votes
,8.57 Score
|
|
Comebacks to Pickup Lines 7/6/2007
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not ...
4 Comments, 94 Views,
9 Votes
,4.49 Score
|
|
Watching the Wife! 7/5/2007
Why do so many guys like to see their wives fucked? Well
they would love 3 way with 2 women, but 2 guys and a girl...NOPE!
I can tell you why...We are afraid of getting touched, coming
into contact with another hard on. Can't help being
just hereto. Just think, you all are at it and you are down
on her and your ass is in the air, WELL, You feel a cock against
your asshole, WoaH doggie. There ...
1 Comments, 115 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
Women's Date Disasters 6/30/2007
Now Time for the Girls Date disasters.
He farts!
He Fuckin stinks!
His underwear has racing stripes!
He Loves Garlic!
He shows up in a Hyundai Pony!
He forgets his wallet!
He wears a polyester suit!
His cock is too small!
His cock is too big! (I know, no such thing)
He has a dump and doesn't flush! ...
1 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
|
