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Just a Funny thought I had on Profiles.  

Platosgames 102M
2244 posts
10/16/2018 1:25 pm
Just a Funny thought I had on Profiles.


Obviously when you sign up on a dating site, you try to put your best foot forward. Well, I would assume most of us do. And yeah, there's some who may embellish a bit and some that are just outright fake. But lets not digress into another fake profile post.

You try to post some good pics. And you have to write the dreaded profile. For me, I just have fun with my profile Try to always be different than the typical. "I'm a great guy." "I'm a really interesting guy" " I like cats." And I certainly stay away from the ever successful,"I'm really horny and want to fuck" I know that's a all time winner, but I'd rather just do it the hard way, I guess.

But what if we were completely honest? The other foot, if you will. LOL I've been thinking about this for a couple of days, reading through peoples profiles. Some I'm sure could be quite funny.

These are not directed at anyone in general, just sorta my thoughts on what some would say. If we're being honest.

From the married guys.

Hi, yes I'm married. I'd like to tell you a sob story, but to be honest, I just have that itch. I'm bored and need to fuck someone other than my wife. If she catches me, I'm gonna lose everything in the divorce. So when I'm asking for discretion, I really mean don't let my wife know .

From the Poor Guy who believed the ads.

Ok..so I was an idiot and believed the hype. What can I say. I was horny, had a few beers and damn if I didn't buy a annual Gold membership. I really , really need one of you woman to step up and have sex with me, so I don't look like a complete fool.

From the Still Undecided

I know I posted some pics, and I wrote this wonderful profile to get you all interested. I'll even chat with you on IM, or on messages. But just prepare yourself. I'm going to talk a lot about how hot your pics are. I'm going to tell you that yeah, I think I would like to meet up with you. But then, after we set up a meet, I'm going to just ghost you. I mean flat out, disappear off the chats, full blown Casper the Ghost you. Thanks.

From the Friends Collector

I have no interest in meeting you, but please accept my friends request. I don't care what you look like, don't care if you're even remotely nice, hell I don't even care if you're a bot. Just please accept my request. I'm trying for the record.

From the Scammer

Ok, Ok. I'm not some distraught hot bikini model, stuck in a foreign country. But I do have a quota I have to meet, and to be honest, people are catching on and I'm way behind. I'm gonna get fired if I don't find a victim, er... a kind soul to help me out. Please, also act like you really believe me, I need the confidence boost. Like I said, I'm in a slump.

I'm sure I missed some obvious ones, but these are the ones that came to mind. LOL Feel free to fill in any I missed.

I'm sure there are things we could all put in our profiles if we were being completely honest. But hell, no one wants to put their worst foot forward. Do they?

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 1:26 pm

If I was being honest, I'd have put, I can be a little stubborn on some things. Just letting you know.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
10/16/2018 1:50 pm

I just want a nice casual fwb, until......after a few times I will get all clingy wanting to know your every move and just when I will see you again.
And btw, who the hell are all those skanks on your friends list?
I am really sweet.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
10/16/2018 1:54 pm

OK, being honest, I can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Hummm . . . so for this site I guess I have to clarify something "pain in the ass" not in the sexual way.

I love cats and dogs. Awww crap, now I probably gotta clarify that.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 1:54 pm

    Quoting positively4you:
    I just want a nice casual fwb, until......after a few times I will get all clingy wanting to know your every move and just when I will see you again.
    And btw, who the hell are all those skanks on your friends list?
    I am really sweet.
LOL...that was great. I loved the line on the "friends list". I've had someone ask me that before. LOL.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Nimothy777 67M

10/16/2018 1:55 pm

Oh, so, TRUE!


UturnBlow 53M
134 posts
10/16/2018 2:02 pm

Nicely stated (your words?)........regardless......effort meits a star (whatever the hell that means)..stated age 96 with the body of a 24 year old.......yikes. Sham and I would say if I was gay we might have had something to discuss. As I am not gay, and you are not 96, shall we discuss the stock photo you present and why you think anyone that would meet you in person would not feel cheated. #metoo sorry dude,so sad, too bad. There are forces at work much larger than you, some for sport, some for power........some because there is nothing better to do. Roll the dice my friend

0

All opinions and statistics are derived from a poll of 1 (me). The rate of error is plus/minus 100%.


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 2:16 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    OK, being honest, I can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Hummm . . . so for this site I guess I have to clarify something "pain in the ass" not in the sexual way.

    I love cats and dogs. Awww crap, now I probably gotta clarify that.
True...not all pains in the ass are equal. just saying.

They let you edit your profile..so you can maybe reword the dogs and cats thing. We'll all act like we never saw it.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 2:17 pm

LOL, it is funny looking through the profiles. Some you can almost read the "between the lines" on them.

I get amused easily.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 2:20 pm

    Quoting UturnBlow:
    Nicely stated (your words?)........regardless......effort meits a star (whatever the hell that means)..stated age 96 with the body of a 24 year old.......yikes. Sham and I would say if I was gay we might have had something to discuss. As I am not gay, and you are not 96, shall we discuss the stock photo you present and why you think anyone that would meet you in person would not feel cheated. #metoo sorry dude,so sad, too bad. There are forces at work much larger than you, some for sport, some for power........some because there is nothing better to do. Roll the dice my friend

    0
LOL...I'm usually pretty good at reading comprehension. But congrats....

The award for the most convoluted response goes to.....

And thanks for the compliment. I'm no where near 24. LOL

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 2:27 pm

    Quoting  :

LOL..yeah there is no telling what you're gonna find once you go profile surfing.

BTW...here's your gif posted for you.

[image]

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
10/16/2018 2:40 pm

Lol...you are such a sham. Those aren’t your pics? I am crushed. Someone please pass the bong.


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
10/16/2018 2:57 pm

Happy Tuesday all so very true and this even made me giggle a bit. As the site says sign up today get laid tonight. I think some of the men that join this site and expect that to happen, even some of the ladies. But this site to be honest is what we all make of it..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
10/16/2018 3:03 pm

You forgot The Lazy Guy

I'm new even though I've been on the site for 6 years. I know I said I'd fill this in later but Really? You believed that?? Wanna fuck?!

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
10/16/2018 3:05 pm

As for my own profile - it's as honest as they come.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 3:15 pm

    Quoting  :

Ok..now don't get mad..

But wouldn't you also have to add...'and I roll my eyes, a lot".

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 3:18 pm

    Quoting positively4you:
    Lol...you are such a sham. Those aren’t your pics? I am crushed. Someone please pass the bong.
LOL...that's the answer right there. I was trying to figure out what the hell he was rambling about in that tirade. Being stoned out of his gourd would explain it. LOL

Oh..but I did lie. I'm not 96 and that astute bastard picked right up on that. Busted.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 3:22 pm

BiggLala

'Stock photo'? Damn that IS a compliment innit? Better than most cock photos.

Who ordered the triggered married dude???
Anyone...anyone...?


I'll stop now, Plato. 😏

LOL. that guy is sorta fun though. It was like learning a new language when I read his responses.

And stop? I bet you don't. LOL

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 3:24 pm

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    Happy Tuesday all so very true and this even made me giggle a bit. As the site says sign up today get laid tonight. I think some of the men that join this site and expect that to happen, even some of the ladies. But this site to be honest is what we all make of it..
You know..on a somber note, you are absolutely correct. I've met women from this site, so it does happen. Have to believe I'm not the only one.

But the site is what you make of it. I have fun on here. I've met (talked) with some wonderful people. Made a really good friend. And have a lot of laughs.

Great point Trzz.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 3:27 pm

    Quoting superbjversion2:
    You forgot The Lazy Guy

    I'm new even though I've been on the site for 6 years. I know I said I'd fill this in later but Really? You believed that?? Wanna fuck?!
Good point.

And yeah...there is one I missed that is all over the site. LOL

I can believe yours is a honest profile. Never seen anything to the contrary.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 3:30 pm

    Quoting  :

LOL...i'm rolling over here with the "nipples won't stop looking at the ceiling".

I thought the lady who thought I was really 96 and just looked really good for my age was pretty silly. This guy takes the cake. LOL

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 3:36 pm

    Quoting  :

Ok..pay up. You have to post a picture of you in a black top, showing some cleavage.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
10/16/2018 3:47 pm

    Quoting  :

Yes, sometimes as I have yet to achieve the constant level of pain in the ass you have mastered.

Geez, THAT was waaayyy too easy

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
10/16/2018 3:48 pm

    Quoting  :

Or you could just write ramblin, ramblin, blah, blah, blah.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
10/16/2018 3:50 pm

    Quoting  :

Doubtful - just sayin

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 3:55 pm

    Quoting  :

Now that sounds like what a couple of ladies I've dated on here..should have had on their profiles. LOL.

Nothing less than a seven inch...er digit bank account. LOL

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 4:17 pm

    Quoting  :

There are a lot of great responses on here tonight. LOL

I think your honest approach might just work wonders for you ..to be honest.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 4:53 pm

    Quoting  :

Well thanks. This was a fun post. I think the responses were phenomenal.

I really liked positively4 you's and misskissen's LOL

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 5:20 pm

    Quoting  :

LOLOLOLOL

Ok..add that one to the list. Perfect.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
10/16/2018 5:46 pm

    Quoting  :

OH no I copied and pasted the giphy and there is MUCH MORE in there
see pic attached

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
10/16/2018 5:51 pm

I've rewritten my profile a dozen times, or so. Each time changing a word or two and then deleting 4 or 5 others. My goal is to get it down to 10 words. It's a work in progress...
- "I am a somewhat literate smartass hoping to get laid."
. .. Hmmm.. Yep.. That might work. Is' a' considered a word? Otherwise I could squeeze another word in there...


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 6:10 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    I've rewritten my profile a dozen times, or so. Each time changing a word or two and then deleting 4 or 5 others. My goal is to get it down to 10 words. It's a work in progress...
    - "I am a somewhat literate smartass hoping to get laid."
    . .. Hmmm.. Yep.. That might work. Is' a' considered a word? Otherwise I could squeeze another word in there...
I think it's allowed to not count 'a' as a word. So..you have room. Maybe just throw in a Honestly. Like

Honestly, I am a somewhat literate smartass hoping to get laid.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/16/2018 6:15 pm

    Quoting pocogato12:
    OH no I copied and pasted the giphy and there is MUCH MORE in there
    see pic attached
You lost me on that response Gato...

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/17/2018 5:05 am

    Quoting  :

It was a fun post.

So you're telling me that Irish red heads can be stubborn too...who'd have known.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


sexysixties2 106F
39750 posts
10/17/2018 9:51 am

Thanks for the reminder that I really should update my profile!!!... The current one was written when I was really pissed off with a man on the site!!!

"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/17/2018 11:01 am

    Quoting sexysixties2:
    Thanks for the reminder that I really should update my profile!!!... The current one was written when I was really pissed off with a man on the site!!!
LOL..bet there's some honesty in that one.

Now I have to go read it again.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/18/2018 5:50 am

    Quoting  :

Hahaha..missed that one. So we'll call it the..

From the Coming Back to Reality

Hi, have to admit, I'm not near as good looking as I think I am, don't really have much to offer. I have sent out messages, flirts and IM's to all the lady's that are out of my league, and I'm running out of options. This is where you come in. Sorry you weren't my first or even third choice, but that doesn't mean you're any less special. Well, maybe it does, but can't we just ignore that aspect?

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/18/2018 11:32 am

    Quoting  :

LOL...good addition. Attention K-Mart shoppers..my gold expires in three days.....

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
10/21/2018 5:50 am

    Quoting  :

Haha, there are a lot of funny people on the blogs. Gotta love it.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


helen_damnation 61F  
2487 posts
10/31/2018 4:22 pm

Hey there, I am a young guy who loves cougars. Really,
OK, I just can't find anyone in my own age group who will put out, so I figure some desperate lonely old lady will let me stick it in and get off without too much complaining that I suck.
Oh yeah, I am a virgin.
Sort of.

I am the only Me you get.


luvgluv19 75M

11/1/2018 12:55 pm

Original, interesting and truthful. You should go into writing resumes for people. Not a hard job and make descent money


lonlyforlove2 81M
32704 posts
11/1/2018 1:55 pm

It is Nice to see such a great group with such a nice sense of humor and comradery, to be able to carry on with and at each other on some of the subjects at hand is just plain nice to see, Plato did give away his age the other day he is not 24 , nor 42, but in a comment he does remember pumping his own Gas, and when he got a TV and when Color TV was available . These are things that I remember even local Gas wars of 10-12 cents a gallon . On one occasion I referred to him as " Young Man" and I think I was correct. A time line is forming on this master of the pen.. Good to see Smiles on these blogs

Stop by at lonlyforlove2
also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow
Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker"
also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/1/2018 2:24 pm

    Quoting helen_damnation:
    Hey there, I am a young guy who loves cougars. Really,
    OK, I just can't find anyone in my own age group who will put out, so I figure some desperate lonely old lady will let me stick it in and get off without too much complaining that I suck.
    Oh yeah, I am a virgin.
    Sort of.
LOL...yeah I see a lot of women talking about those "guys"

I think your rendition of their "honest profile" is perfect.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/1/2018 2:26 pm

    Quoting luvgluv19:
    Original, interesting and truthful. You should go into writing resumes for people. Not a hard job and make descent money
Thanks for the compliment.

I keep swearing I'm gonna write a book . Just never seem to do it. LOL

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/1/2018 2:28 pm

    Quoting lonlyforlove2:
    It is Nice to see such a great group with such a nice sense of humor and comradery, to be able to carry on with and at each other on some of the subjects at hand is just plain nice to see, Plato did give away his age the other day he is not 24 , nor 42, but in a comment he does remember pumping his own Gas, and when he got a TV and when Color TV was available . These are things that I remember even local Gas wars of 10-12 cents a gallon . On one occasion I referred to him as " Young Man" and I think I was correct. A time line is forming on this master of the pen.. Good to see Smiles on these blogs
There is a great group of people on here, and I would include you in that statement for sure.

haha, There are a few that know my real age. I'm thinking on my birthday I'll change it back to my real age.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


12coupleformore 43M/46F

11/7/2018 2:30 pm

Too true


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/7/2018 3:12 pm

There were a bunch of great additions to this list.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


Rede4mor519 65M/61F  
9 posts
11/12/2018 6:39 pm

You have said it all in a nutshell! Well done!


Platosgames 102M
3189 posts
11/12/2018 7:49 pm

    Quoting Rede4mor519:
    You have said it all in a nutshell! Well done!
Well thank you. There were some great additions along the way. I like to think of it as a group effort. And there's nothing wrong with groups.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx


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