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The Computer is your friend  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
11/18/2018 7:47 am

Last Read:
11/19/2018 5:46 pm

The Computer is your friend

The Computer wants you to be happy . Happiness is mandatory . Failure to be happy is treason . Treason is punishable by summary execution .

It's time to face facts folks - the War on Christmas is a failure . We're spending $41.3 billion dollars annually , $25.7 billion in state funds and over $15.6 billion in federal funds , on the War on Christmas and what have we accomplished ? Just the other day I saw a house all lit up with Christmas lights . It's not even Thanksgiving !



The problem is as simple as capitalism itself if people want Christmas and are willing to pay for it , and they do , someone is going to find a way to give it them . You can lock up a million mall Santas a year and there's just going to be more scumbags out there willing to put on a fake beard and a red suit and be out on those corners hustling Christmas for cold hard cash .

The truth is that people want Christmas now more than ever - and as long as the demand is there someone's going to come up with he supply . But what can we do about it ? Why do people want Christmas so badly ?

Stress seems to play a major role from what I can tell - people just want to escape from their dead-end lives and their shitty jobs and the spouse/partner they hate and their screaming and the whole nine yards - and Christmas offers that . And this is in a country where we have everything .

So what can we do about that ? I don't know . What I do know is that the War on Christmas has become a nightmare of our own creation and there doesn't seem to be a way to get rid of it . Too many people are making too much money and gaining too much political capital from it's existence for it to be something that just be swept away .

There is good news though , the War on Sex , which honestly I thought was a total boondoggle from the get-go , is starting to bear fruit . We've been hearing for a while that millennials and their ilk are too lazy and pathetic to even bother smashing and now the Atlantic has confirmed it - only old people are banging these days .

We did it !



And the victory is all the sweeter for all those that said it could not be done . Who would have ever thought that we could get people to stop having sex ? Turns out the answer was right there in front of us all the time - we just needed to normalize sex to the point where young people would rebel against it . I mean when there's Cialis and eXtenZ commercials on the TV every 2 minutes there's no way for them to pretend that their parents aren't engaging in hardcore fucking every Wednesday and Saturday night so of course they're going to reject the whole idea .

It wasn't easy slapping down anything that made sex safer , healthier , more comfortable or more enjoyable but we stayed the course and we were committed and determined and we finally did it .

Take that you hippies ! Not only is free love dead but the whole nasty business is going the way of the dinosaurs . Nice try assholes !

In a strange way I feel like Kate Winslet's boobs had a lot to do with this . Her boobs were in Titanic you know and that movie was mostly seen by and I think we can draw a direct line from that to the proliferation of Girls Gone Wild later - I mean if Kate Winslet is showing her tits for nothing why wouldn't they show them for a trucker hat ? And then the Girls Gone Wild added significantly to the culture of sexual normalcy in our culture that ultimate caused the next generation to reject it .

I tip my my hat to you and your boobs Kate Winslet .

So the War on Christmas is a failure and the War on Sex is a success - what should we start a war on next ?


Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
11/18/2018 7:48 am

I feel like now would be a pretty good time to start a war on art .

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


luvgluv19 75M

11/18/2018 8:47 am

Ho Hum


classicalrebel4 68M
1755 posts
11/18/2018 9:18 am

I would support a war on Hollywood movies but someone would just make a movie about it and win.

Please don't let me be misunderstood.


40Deuce replies on 11/19/2018 5:47 pm:
I would for sure

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